“Which is porn made for men by men but that doesn’t subjugate women!” So up for a dare, I say “sure.” Six months later, this is a regular feature and I’m done. Suggestions, sir? - Name withheld by requestĭear No Kinda/Sorta/Maybe Means No: An argument for why?!!? Sure! “Is there a reason every single sex act between/betwixt you and I has to be accompanied by a commercially produced film that, yes, just happens to have one guy delivering pizza to another guy who left his wallet somewhere else and can’t think of any way to pay other than a friendly massage?” But I can’t think of an argument for why. Like I’ve said, though dharma gates are endless and you can find meaning anywhere, the tendency to politicize sexual activity, though sexual activity is not above being politicized, usually leads to less than erotic outcomes. Sex is/can be mysterious, mystifying, magical. Being force fed any kind of pornography, really, like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, seems to be missing the point in total though. The point in total though? The best action in the room shouldn’t be on the screen. Slow PokeĮUGENE, SIR: I read you all the time and have yet to see you address the problem I’m having. We’ve been married three years and while most complain about partners who are too fast my partner is way too slow. He also thinks that this is sexy and attractive and has some pride in being able to go all night. My vagina is not interested in all night. So how do I communicate this without seeming like I’ve been miserable the past three years? - Kath From Bathĭear Bath Beach: Overthinking this might not be the way to get the best result here. No matter who is saying this, I often think this is the wrong way to think about it. You have a timing variance and nothing wrong with addressing it but “fault” is not the way to get there. Right now he thinks he is doing something that meets with your approval. The issue - that it doesn’t now - reflects that sex works best when it varies, maybe.
So … let it vary! Create a circumstance that favors your pace and rewards him for meeting it. How? Well, I’m not there but indicate that short and intense has a requisite level of hot for you that allowed you to put up/post the kind of orgasm that overshadows whatever he’s seen before.
I’m sure there is a school of thought that would castigate me for thinking this is a problem that you alone should be fixing and you, in a very adult way, should bring it up in conversation during a nonsexual interlude and come to a conclusion together about how to address the “issue.” Unless he’s a complete clod, he’ll get it. That school of thought probably also has a sizable investment in divorce attorneys and marriage counselors. Cavalier approaches to bomb disposal will be met with similar ends when applied to your still-taking-shape marriage.
Don’t listen to them.All models on this website are 18 years or older.